You are crossing a line

"Lack of boundaries invites lack of respect"
     We might have been a part of a situation where we wanted to say no but ended up saying yes instead? Like the time when your friend called you up at night to rant about their break up and you had a hectic day but you went ahead anyway because you couldn't say no. Or the time when your mom asked for help and you could barely get up from the bed but ended up helping her anyway because you were the only one present. Or the time when your sibling asked to join you for shopping and you said yes even though you haven't slept since long and have been running on coffee. Or when a friend ghosted you and comes back normal after months or years. 

    There are incidents where we go ahead with the situation against our own will, just because we could not say no. It is important to understand that your preference and choice is as important as the other. This is the place where boundaries come into picture. And how can we set boundaries? Here are the following points: 

- It is imperative that we maintain clarity on our expectations of both ourselves and other people, as well as our comfort zones in different circumstances. It takes strong communication abilities that communicate assertiveness and clarity to set healthy boundaries.

- Being assertive is being frank and courteous in how you communicate your feelings. It doesn't mean making demands, but it does mean getting people to pay attention to you. As a type of self-care, setting healthy boundaries requires you to state your needs and priorities. 


Steps for healthy communication of boundaries:

Step 1: Be as explicit and unambiguous as you can. Keep your voice down.

Step 2: Clearly express your desire or request by stating what you would like instead of what you don't want or like.

Step 3: Acknowledge any discomfort that results, be it shame, guilt


Examples could include:

- Refusing to do something that you don't want to

- Managing your emotional expression

- Being open and honest about your experiences

- Responding immediately

- Resolving issues with the relevant party directly as opposed to through a third party

- Clearly stating your expectations rather than presuming that others would know them.


Boundaries can help you:

- Boost your mood and mental well-being

- Encourage wholesome partnerships

- Decrease tension and boost your self-worth

- Keep you safe from poisonous individuals and circumstances

- Maintain your individuality

- Keep yourself from being exploited by others

- Develop greater empathy for one another

- Preserve your mental and emotional health


    It should be kept in mind that having boundaries can help you in the long run and it takes time to set it up fully. It needs patience and better understanding of oneself. It can help you get rid of pleasing people and at the same time give you a sense of freedom over your own choices.






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